Untitled
by RBLioness
Summary: The ramblings of a them 17 year old.


This is it, he thought. I'm going to tell her today. Adam paced his room trying to decide if this was the best thing to do. He couldn't face it anymore, the yearning he felt for this person, the love and the way he wanted them to be his. The only problem was Adam loved his best-friend.

He liked Bella from the moment he laid eyes on her, seven years ago. Adam had endured seven years of pain and he'd had enough. He had to tell her, he had to let her know.

Adam had kept his feelings hidden as he knew Bella didn't see him in a romantic light, but you'll never know unless you try, right?

It's not like Adam didn't date other girls to make his feelings go away. In fact, Adam probably dated nearly every girl in his year by the time his was in year 10, yet none of those girls made him feel the way Bella made him feel. He found it hard to commit fully in a relationship. He'd mess around and cheat, not really taking them seriously, except maybe one or two.

But this was it; in order for him to move on he knew he had to tell her, and that he would.

Adam pulled out his phone from his pocket and wrote a text message to Bella:

" _Hi Bell; I was wondering if I could see you. I need to talk to you, meet me at the park in half an hour. See you there. X"_

Adam felt his heart race from the moment he pressed the button "send". He was relieved to see that Bella had replied saying "sure" with a smiley face.

Adam sat on a bench at the park waiting for Bella to arrive; he'd been best-friends with her for five of the seven years he'd known her. Adam was the person she'd go to when she'd broke up with a boyfriend or had worries she had to share. He was her shoulder to cry on, and Adam didn't want to be "the other guy who picks up the pieces" anymore. He didn't want to be the guy who was worth telling your worries and nothing else. He wanted to be something more.

"Adam, hey!" smiled Bella snapping him out of his thoughts. He smiled back at her as she took a seat next to him.

"So what do you want to tell me?" asked Bella as she made herself comfortable on the bench.

Adam felt his hands start to sweat and he felt a bit hotter all of a sudden. He cleared his throat before he spoke. "Er, I wanted to ask how things were, you know since you've split up with Edward," Adam played with his hands and fidgeted around on the bench.

"Oh. Well, he's apologised for the way he'd been treating me. He took me to eat out yesterday to make things up," came Bella's reply.

Adam's heart sank. Bella had been with Edward for nearly three years. They'd split up a lot during the relationship due to Edward ignoring and pushing Bella away. And also because he was sometimes just downright rude hurting her feelings on multiple occasions. Their latest breakup was six days ago, on Sunday. The first thing Bella did after "breaking up" with Edward was calling Adam and having a good cry about it. She'd swore that was the last time she'd let him hurt her, and Adam should've known better than to believe her. Every time that unworthy pig wormed his way back into Bella's life, leaving Adam more powerless about his situation.

"So, I'm assuming your back together?" Adam asked stupidly just to have it confirmed in black and white.

"Yes, I know what I said about learning my lesson, but I can't choose who I love... and that's Teddy."

"Right," said Adam plainly, looking ahead at the children playing on the parks swings and slides.

"Was that all you wanted to know?" Bella asked, looking at her phone.

Adam hesitated before replying, "Yes," he spoke softly. He couldn't tell her. He was too afraid of losing her over this, and that was something he simply couldn't risk. Besides, she set it in stone for him – she loved "Teddy". She would never look at Adam the same way.

That night Adam couldn't concentrate as he attempted an essay that was due in the following morning. He put his head down on the desk for a second and could feel sleep claiming his body. Quickly he shot up. "I have to get this done," he said to himself. Again, he attempted a paragraph, but he could think of nothing worth writing. Why did English A-Level coursework have to be so difficult?

It was as he was contemplating the torture of exams when his bedroom door burst open. It was Saffron, his ex-girlfriend. Adam and Saffron had dated for a year and two months. She was the longest girlfriend he had, and the only one he actually had cared for. Saffron wanted to make things serious and began to gather strong feelings for Adam, perhaps it was love? Anyway, before he could hurt her Adam ended it with Saffron two months ago. They'd chosen to remain "friends" but it was obvious Saffron still had feelings for Adam. In the two months that passed they barely saw each other, and only spoke to greet one another if they were seen in the school corridors or similar.

At first Adam was a bit shocked to see Saffron in his room. He assumed she was here for their history project. Their teacher, Mr Warring, had chosen them to be partners.

"Saffron... what you doing here?" Adam eventually asked as he snapped out of his thoughts.

Saffron smiled as she walked further into her room. "Adam I'm here because I need to talk to you,"

She sat on his bed and Adam sat next to her.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments as they adjusted themselves into their seats.

Finally Saffron spoke. "Adam, I've wanted to talk to you for two months and now I feel is the right time to ask my questions. I need to know. I need to know why you ended things, everything was so perfect. Why did you have to break my heart?"

Adam felt his ears start to burn. Oh, no! He didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"Saffron, I don't want to talk about this right now-" before he could finish he was interrupted.

"Adam, I just need answers. You really don't know the state you left me in. I cried myself to sleep every night for a month! I don't know how to describe what I felt and what I'm still feeling. Just tell me why, and I'll leave you be," she said firmly, on the edge of tears.

Adam let out a sigh.

"Didn't you care for me? Were you just using me? Or was there someone else?" demanded Saffron.

"No." Adam replied quickly. "Of course I cared for you, Saffron. I was just scared I would hurt you, that's all. And no, there was no one else. I'm sorry Saffron, I really am. I'm sorry for what I did to you and I'm sorry for being the cause of such agony. But I did it for your own good. Trust me."

There was silence for a few minutes after that revelation.

"Do you still care for me?" asked Saffron quietly through tears.

"Yes" came Adam's swift reply.

She turned her whole body to face Adam. She cupped his face in her hands and spoke softly, "then why don't we try again? One more time, Adam, please. Just once more and if it doesn't work then I'll let you go. But I shan't stop trying when there may be a possibility that we may have a future together,"

She stared into Adam's soul as if she saw straight through him. She had ice-blue eyes, and in that moment they were filled with water. Adam's own grey eyes started to well-up as well.

"Saffron..." Adam spoke weakly as a singly tear ran down his face. Saffron leaned her forehead against his. She was so close he could feel her warm breath on his skin. Their lips were mere inches apart.

"Saffron, I don't know what to do. I'm a mess, Saff. I'm sorry"

"Adam, please-"

Before she could finish Adam gently placed his lips on hers. The kiss grew deeper. Adam wanted desperately to fill the empty pit he harboured in his heart. The pit that he wanted Bella to fill in. but he knew that would never happen so he tried to replace Bella with Saffron. He kissed her passionately, desperately trying to feel something, anything.

Saffron's mind had gone empty the moment their lips touched. However Adam's was filled with Bella. Bella smiling at him. He closed his eyes and broke the kiss then opened them hoping it would be Bella he was kissing. But it wasn't, it was Saffron.

"Ok. We'll give this another go," he smiled looking into his girlfriend's eyes.


End file.
